Streaming Nonsense

Thundering Mountains across the sky
My thoughts alight and begin to fly

Chaos, nonsense, gibberish too
I can make no sense of me or you

I'm swimming but drowning in my mind
I'd like to leave these thoughts behind

What does the morning bring?
Do the robins and jaybirds sing?

Do my thoughts make sense to you?
If you could see the things I knew

About myself, about the world as a whole
It would take your breath, take your soul

I make no promise, no explanation here
Just my thoughts that I hold dear

Random nonsense that's what this is
My thoughts are going I do not miss

Inside Me

It starts small, and then grow stronger

First a little sadness, then a small tear

Soon I am weeping, can hold back no longer

The thoughts come, I'm paralyzed with fear

Feeling unloved, unwanted and more

Trying to fight it, they say they care

Yet deep down inside, my heart has been torn

Trying to hold on, becomes hard to bear

Feelings of loneliness, like no one is there

Rage deep inside me, I'm feeling so lost

The true thoughts inside me, I cannot share

I want to let go, though I cannot pay the cost

Shawna K Whaley

10-13-01

I'm here, but I'm not here

I'm here, but I'm not here 

(8/19/15) 

As I drift away into my own thoughts 

Voices get farther away 

Once more trapped within my own mind 

Unaware of my surroundings 

The world around goes on without me 

 As conversations continue unhindered by my absence 

In my head is nothing but silence 

Then my thoughts begin to penetrate the fog 

In my mind I am alone 

Don't try to talk to me 'cause I won't hear you 

I'm somewhere else now even if you still see me 

Lost within myself 

Consumed by my own thoughts 

So far away 

Only half aware when you say my name 

I'm daydreaming yet it's unclear 

As I sit here thinking 

I'm here, but I'm not here 

~Shawna K. Whaley 

Don't Look

Don't Look
(7-13-17)

If eyes are the windows to the soul then do not look into mine
The things you'd see aren't meant to be seen
The pain I hide is mine alone
The fears I fear are not for you to know

You look at me and I look away
Too afraid to show you what's inside
If you knew the thoughts I think you'd run from me
I'm broken, damaged, beyond repair

I can't show you how broken I am
You can't see the darkness inside of me
I'm screaming but you can't hear
I'm cut off and so very alone

There's no one here that wants me around
I'm just one person in a sea of many
Used, abused, mistreated and then thrown away
Left to pick up the pieces on my own

There's a struggle inside my soul
It's mine alone I will not share
Put on a smile but won't look you in the eye
If eyes are the windows to the soul then look away from mine

~Shawna K. Whaley