As I Lay Down To Sleep

As I Lay Down To Sleep 

(8-15-08) 

As I lay down to sleep, I think about our life 

What went wrong, can we make it right? 

As I lay down to sleep, I think about our love 

Is it here hiding somewhere, is it gone for good? 

As I lay down to sleep, I think about the future 

Will we be together, will we be apart? 

As I lay down to sleep, the tears begin to fall 

Should we continue, should we give up? 

As I lay down to sleep, I think about these things 

So many questions, the answers are unclear 

As I lay down to sleep, I think about the past 

Have we really changed, are we still the same? 

As I lay down to sleep, I try to fight the pain 

Sometimes I think it's over, sometimes I’m not sure 

As I lay down to sleep, I wonder what you think 

Do you still love me, do you wonder the same things? 

As I lay down to sleep, I think about these things 

I wish I knew the answers, you won’t talk to me 

As I lay down to sleep, I think about my fear 

Have you stopped loving me, my future is unclear 

 Shawna K. Whaley

ALL I HAVE TO GIVE

ALL I HAVE TO GIVE 

(for Brenda, my step mom) 

(8-8-00) 

You took me in, gave me a place in your lives, 

You treated me kind, though I didn’t always deserve it. 

You were there for me, every time I needed you, 

No matter the hour or day, you were there to comfort me. 

I don’t deserve the kindness you give, 

I don’t feel that I’ve earned it. 

Your love and kindness are endless, I’ve learned, 

I’m glad to have you in my life. 

I hope that someday I will be able to repay you, 

For all the things you have given to me. 

As for right now, all I have to give, I give to you freely. 

I hope that my love will be enough, until the day I can give you more. 

I love you like my own mother, I’m glad I have you to talk to, when I need to. 

I will always be thankful for the love you give me, 

Unconditional love, from you to me. 

I give it right back, from my heart to yours, 

I know it’s not a lot, someday I will be able to give you more. 

You deserve so much, I have so little,  

I give you all I have to give. 

My love, from me to you. 

Shawna K. Whaley 

A Mother’s Love

Pretty sure I wrote this after one of the many times my mother disowned me...can't remember the reason why she did, she was angry about something...

A Mother’s Love 

(5-1-03) 

A mother should love her children always. 

Unconditional, never failing, that’s how it should be 

Rain or shine, through all the days. 

I wish you could understand this, wish you could see. 

What you do to me, what your anger has caused. 

Do you care? Why is it always about you? 

This could have been worked out, if only you had paused. 

Instead you blew up, like you always do. 

The world is not against you, no matter what you say 

We had to grow up, you couldn’t stop that. 

For you to finally love me, I will always pray 

Instead you have used me, I was your doormat. 

You’ll always be my mother, can’t change that fact. 

I’ll try not to let you get me down, try not to cry 

I forgive you and love you, no matter how you act. 

That doesn’t mean you can use me, leave me out to dry. 

Only that I love you, like you should love me, 

One day you will realize, you will open up your eyes 

I only pray that when that day comes, and you truly see, 

That you still have time, I’m tired of your lies. 

 Shawna K. Whaley