On The Outside Looking In

On The Outside Looking In

(10/13/01)

On the outside looking in, what a way to live

It's got its ups and definitely has its downs

No one to bother you, you've been left alone

No one to talk to you, you're own your own

On the outside, looking in. That's where I am

Most of my life, that's how it's been

They might open a window, might open a door

Let me hear they love me and feel they care

Then like the cold, I'd get shut out

Left to feel the hurt, the tears that follow

In my own little world, that's where I dwell

looking in on a world, as if through a window

Ignored and abandoned, all of my life

Except through a window, a window that's locked

Shut out of their world, shut up in my heart

Never to be accepted, never to be loved

On the outside, looking in. I bet you would know

Has more downs than ups, or so it does show

Shawna K. Whaley

Will I Be Forgiven?

Will I Be Forgiven?

(3/30/01)

Will I be forgiven, if my life I take?

Will God Forgive me, for the choice that I might make?

If I ask before, will He accept my plea?

Will I be forgiven, by friends and family?

I'm running out of reasons, to keep myself alive.

They say there are many, but I just don't see,

I fear that I am losing control, for my sanity I strive.

Will I be forgiven, by the ones that matter most?

Will they see it as my only choice?

Will they understand, understand that I feel lost?

Can they hear it, hear the pain in my voice?

Will I be forgiven, if my life I take?

Will God forgive me, for the choice that I might make?

If I ask before, will He accept my plea?

Shawna K. Whaley

Silent Plea

Silent Plea

(3/29/01)

I sit alone on this silent night,

thinking about my life gone past,

the things I did wrong, and should have done right.

I never realized that life would go by so fast.

In my mind is chaos, confusion, and fear,

I see myself spinning, spiraling down,

I feel helpless inside, I wipe away a tear.

In my own anguish, soon I will drown.

Someone please help me, please hold my hand,

I'm afraid of the thoughts inside my own head,

I need someone near me, by my side please stay,

This is my silent plea, every night before bed.

Shawna K. Whaley

Simple Things

Simple Things

(8/16/00)

Someone you can count on,
Through thick and thin, they will always be there.
Someone who can count on you,
No matter what, you will always care.

Someone you can talk to,
Tell your secrets, admit your fears.
Someone who can talk to you,
Always listening, with open ears.

Someone you can trust,
Keep your secrets, look out for you.
Someone who can trust you,
Keep their secrets, look out for them too.

Someone who is loyal,
Forgetting risks, they won't turn on you.
Someone you can be loyal to,
through it all, you remain true.

This is what friendship means to me,
The only way it should be.
For without these eight simple things,
How can it be a true friendship?

Shawna K. Whaley

Thankful for You

Thankful for You 

(5-11-01) 

I try and try to find the words to say, 

To let you know just how I feel. 

For the words, each night I pray. 

Beside me bed, each night I kneel. 

The only words that come to me. 

The only words that I hear, 

I love you more that you can see. 

In my life, I always want you near. 

You hold me in your arms when I cry, 

And with a loving finger, you wipe away my tears. 

When I’m afraid, you encourage me to try, 

Do all you can to calm my fears. 

I’m thankful to God, that you are here, 

You didn’t have to love me, though you do. 

In my heart, I will always hold you dear. 

This is my way of saying, I love you. 

Shawna K. Whaley

My Little Monkey

My Little Monkey 

(for my daughter Abby)

(7-23-08) 

Tiny steps on wobbly legs 

Little giggles as you nod your head 

Try so hard to chase your sister 

Smiling at me with your eyes so blue 

I love you baby, I want you to know 

A year has gone by since we first met 

A little monkey, it’s hard to keep up 

You climb on this, you climb on that 

Watching you play, watching you learn 

I look behind me, you’re climbing again 

Standing on a chair, my heart starts to race 

Big grin on your face, look what I can do! 

Before I can get you, you climb back down 

Come up beside me, blue eyes shining 

Oh, how I love you, my little monkey 

Afraid of nothing, yes that’s you 

~Shawna K. Whaley

Human Nature

Human Nature 

(1-14-03) 

I’ve been lonely before, I will be again 

The tears have been shed, I’ve dried my eyes. 

The pain has diminished, I can finally see. 

I thought I wanted you, I really wanted love. 

I picked you out of the crowd, set my sights on you, 

Decided you were the one for me, though I wasn’t for you 

If only I had waited, if only I had seen. 

I never should have told you, now it is too late. 

I’ve made things change, they will never go back 

Your friendship is all I want, too late now I see 

The laws of nature are the cause, the reason for my ways. 

What I wanted, I could not have 

Human Nature demands it, no one is immune 

What I want now, I fear I have lost 

That is my only regret, to lose your friendship 

Shawna K. Whaley

Can You See?

Can You See? 

(5-22-04) 

Can you see, the tears I cry? 

When you treat me, the way you treat me. 

Can you see, the pain in my eyes? 

Can you see, do you know? 

How much I hurt inside. 

When we fight, when we don’t talk. 

Can you see, I die a little each time? 

You think I want to fight, can you see that I don’t? 

I love you, need you. You are part of me. 

Can you see this, do you feel this? 

Fighting only tears us apart, why would I want this? 

Can you see, this shouldn’t be? 

We shouldn’t say hurtful things, you or me. 

Can you see how much it hurts, can you feel? 

Cuts like a knife, and takes longer to heal. 

Shawna K. Whaley